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The Student-Run Newspaper of Williams College Since 1887

The Williams Record

The Student-Run Newspaper of Williams College Since 1887

The Williams Record

The Student-Run Newspaper of Williams College Since 1887

The Williams Record

Ephelia Ephelia

All content by Ephelia Ephelia
Photo courtesy of identity.williams.edu.

Dear Ephelia: Record advice column

Ephelia Ephelia October 2, 2024
This week, our beloved cow tackles unreciprocated love at the Coffee Bar, how to carry one's course packets, and a fear of Lower Lasell.
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Dear Ephelia: Record advice column

Ephelia Ephelia September 25, 2024
This week, Ephelia lends a hand to confused frosh and answers friendship queries.
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Dear Ephelia: Record advice column

Ephelia Ephelia May 8, 2024
This week, Ephelia takes on the tribulations of Sensations and the weeks after.
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Dear Ephelia: Record advice column

Ephelia Ephelia April 24, 2024
This week, Ephelia discusses close friends disappearing into coupledom, the silent joys of the course catalogue, and the perks of abstaining from situationships.
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Dear Ephelia: Record advice column

Ephelia Ephelia March 13, 2024
This week, Ephelia tackles long-distance friendships and whether Spring Break is meant for catching up on work.
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Dear Ephelia: Record advice column

Ephelia Ephelia March 6, 2024
This week, Ephelia tackles Spring Break FOMO, the Classroom 10 phenomenon, and the limits of tipping culture.
Photo courtesy of identity.williams.edu.

Dear Ephelia: Record advice column

Ephelia Ephelia February 21, 2024
This week, Ephelia advises on how to deal with tricky neighbors, how to dodge a bad conversation, and how to prepare for a Zoom date.
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Dear Ephelia: Record advice column

Ephelia Ephelia February 7, 2024
This week, Ephelia provides an action plan for against irresponsible dorm-kitchen users, offers advice on friendships as an international first-year, and on being left behind by a graduating girlfriend.
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Dear Ephelia: Record advice column

Ephelia Ephelia January 24, 2024
This week's edition of Dear Ephelia tackles solitude, situationships, and existential dread.
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Dear Ephelia: The Record Advice Column

Ephelia Ephelia December 6, 2023
This edition of Dear Ephelia handles a breakup, GPA cutoffs, and flirty texting.
Dear Ephelia: The Record Advice Column

Dear Ephelia: The Record Advice Column

Ephelia Ephelia November 1, 2023
This week's edition of Dear Ephelia tackles an ex who has moved on, the art of avoiding small talk, and dating apps.
Photo courtesy of identity.williams.edu.

Dear Ephelia: The Record Advice Column

Ephelia Ephelia October 18, 2023

I’ve been hit with writer’s block and have a 10-page paper due in a few days. How do I conjure the creative spirits to produce a masterpiece on Ron DeSantis’s penchant for high heels?  I have been...

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Dear Ephelia: The Record Advice Column

Ephelia Ephelia October 4, 2023
In this week's edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia counsels readers on self-improvement, seminar speak, and Socratic dialogues.
Photo courtesy of identity.williams.edu.

Dear Ephelia: Record advice column

Ephelia Ephelia September 27, 2023
In this week's edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia handles a messy bathroom, an even messier breakup, and unwanted visitors in dorm rooms.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia September 20, 2023
In this week's edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia advises on "aux anxiety," thesis carrel theft, and how to avoid people that might be out to get you.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia May 10, 2023
In this week's edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia talks Instagram dm flirting, the Williams swivel, to grow or not to grow a beard, and open-relationships.
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Dear Ephelia: Record advice column

Ephelia Ephelia May 3, 2023
In this week's edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia consults on the acceptability of VSCO accounts, dance-floor makeouts, and Kanye.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia April 26, 2023
In this week's edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia offers counsel on Goodrich shortages, undateable majors, and anonymous notes.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia April 19, 2023
In this week's Dear Ephelia, Ephelia discusses dirty rivers, smelly people, sneaky links, and fanfic writing classmates.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia April 12, 2023
In this week's edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia discusses avoiding people, the course catalog, picking the wrong guy, and catching a cheater.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia March 15, 2023
In this week's edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia meditates on the best way to pick between two guys, texting etiquette in class, and the worst movies for Netflix-and-chill.
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Dear Ephelia: Record advice column

Ephelia Ephelia March 8, 2023
In this week's edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia discusses emotional unavailability, gym anxiety, with a special appearance from ChatGPT.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia March 1, 2023
In this week's edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia discusses boyfriend training methods, Lenten sacrifices, and controversial coffee opinions.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia February 15, 2023
In this week's Dear Ephelia describes alternative housing accomodations, finding your secret admirer, and what to do when caught stalking your partner.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia February 8, 2023
In this weeks installment of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia comments on dating, playing music in the shower, and men who use Co-Star.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia December 7, 2022
In this edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia discusses crushes, content recommendations, laundry, and finals.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia November 30, 2022
In another installment of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia discusses making friends in class, reaching out to friends, and wearing outside clothes on your bed.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia November 16, 2022
In this week’s installment of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia offers advice on rejecting people, calling your parents, and planning anniversaries.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia November 2, 2022
In this week’s issue of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia comments on getting over your crush, leaving the group chat, and the merits of gossip.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia October 26, 2022
In this week’s edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia discusses staying warm, using the bathroom while someone showers, and using hot sauce in the shower.
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Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia October 19, 2022
In this week’s Dear Ephelia, Ephelia discusses unique Halloween costume ideas, the bell-ringers, and summer jobs.
Photo courtesy of identity.williams.edu.

Dear Ephelia: Advice from Record Staff

Ephelia Ephelia October 5, 2022
In another weekly installment of the Record’s advice column, Ephelia offers insight into GroupMe etiquette, the best dishes on Spring Street, and the line at Goodrich.
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Dear Ephelia: Advice from Record Staff

Ephelia Ephelia September 28, 2022
In this week's issue, Ephelia critiques dental hygiene, ranks campus bathrooms, and debates whether Snapchat is obsolete.
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Dear Ephelia: Welcome back to Williams!

Ephelia Ephelia September 21, 2022
In this week's column of "Dear Ephelia," Ephelia tackles dating, cutting lines, dorm living, and the academic scene at Williams.
Dear Ephelia: Advice from Record staff

Dear Ephelia: Advice from Record staff

Ephelia Ephelia May 4, 2022
This week, Dear Ephelia covers contact-tracing from hookups, romance struggles, college flooring, and whether Kris Jenner has a place in tutorial essays.
Dear Ephelia

Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia April 27, 2022
In another installment of the Record's advice column, Ephelia discusses double texting, podcasting, and loneliness.
Dear Ephelia

Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia April 13, 2022
In another installment of the Record's weekly advice column, Ephelia provides insight into caffeine addiction, cheeseburger soup, musical red flags, and more.
Dear Ephelia

Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia March 16, 2022
In another weekly installment of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia comments on lifting weights at the gym, not talking to your roomate, and winning over your a cappella crush.
Dear Ephelia

Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia March 9, 2022
In this week's edition of Dear Ephelia, Ephelia gives advice on laundry, ASMR, midterms, and more!
Dear Ephelia

Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia March 2, 2022
Dear Ephelia gives advice to Williams students about bad improv, frat jackets, rumors, relationships, and crushes.
Dear Ephelia

Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia February 23, 2022
After being on hiatus for two years, Dear Ephelia returns to give advice to Williams students on campus relationships, dinner dates, and shower shoes.
Dear Ephelia

Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia March 4, 2020
Do I have mono, or am I just sad and tired? Well. I mean. I hate to ask what my parents asked when I got mono back in 11th grade, but: Who have you been kissing? In 11th grade, the answer was “No one — I’m a cow. I probably got it from sharing milk with a friend.”
Dear Ephelia

Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia October 23, 2019

How do you get your friends in a capella groups to stop singing all the time? -Slightly Deaf Honestly, I wish I could tell you. I am trying to find the answer to this problem that isn’t just...

Dear Ephelia: Answering students’ questions on all things Williams

Dear Ephelia: Answering students’ questions on all things Williams

Ephelia Ephelia September 18, 2019

If you are eating a syrupy breakfast, and the handle of your fork falls into the syrup, what do you do? Should you get a new fork? Should you wipe it off and continue? Do you lick it off in broad daylight?...

Dear Ephelia: Answering students' questions on all things Williams

Dear Ephelia: Answering students’ questions on all things Williams

Ephelia Ephelia September 11, 2019

When I hold the door for someone and get a “thank you” in response, what do I say? If I remain silent, I feel like I’m being rude. If I say, “You’re welcome,” it’s awkward.  —...

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