Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia

Is it a red flag that the girl he told me not to worry about follows him on Co-Star?

I have a lot of thoughts on this subject. For one, who even uses Co-Star anymore? I thought it was canceled years ago by the astrology community for using an inaccurate, chart-distorting AI algorithm. On top of that, I have to question why a man is into astrology. In my experience, there is a strongly negative correlation between a man’s familiarity with his astrological chart and the extent to which he is a good person. See chart based on my super statistically sound sample of men below:


My findings would suggest that his usage of Co-Star alone is a red flag, making this a red flag by the transitive property. However, every relationship is different — to err on the side of caution, I deem this a yellow flag. I would advise you to follow your gut, because if you think something is wrong, it probably is.

Is it appropriate to blare music in the shower?

“Blare” has some raucous connotations — so sorry to disappoint — but it seems totally acceptable to me to play music in the shower. So long as your suitemates have not expressed concern and you are showering at a reasonable time, I see no issue. Plus, loud music is a great bathroom deterrent and an easy way to ensure a solitary showering experience.

Ephelia, I am in a total bind. I yearn for companionship but am terrified of dating. Help!

Everyone is afraid of getting hurt, and dating can be scary, exhausting, boring, and painful. Avoiding connection out of fear, however, is (a) cliché and (b) illogical. Without risk, there is no reward — come on econ bros, back me up. You might lose, you might win, but if you do nothing, you’re not even in the game. Plus, it’s lame to be a prisoner of your own fears, so if you can’t see logic, see shame. 

I was actually doing well during Winter Study. I slept enough, saw my friends, worked out — I felt good. How can I keep the momentum going during the semester? 

Making time for self-care helps me stay afloat during the semester, so I would suggest that. By self-care, I am not referring to the glamorous and extravagant consumerist version of it that we see on social media — jade rollers, tropical vacations, expensive lattes, what have you. I am talking about the ordinary, almost obvious, kind of self care — brushing your teeth, changing your sheets, getting enough sleep, among the other mundane tasks that keep your life going. 

Self-care will not make you happy per se, but it will give you solid mental footing to weather whatever good or bad things life throws your way. If the idea of adding yet another thing to your schedules seems challenging — as is the case for many Williams students — remind yourself that your productivity is a function of your wellness. Making time for yourself helps you to perform better in your personal, professional, and academic lives.

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