Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia

I’ve developed feelings for my best friend’s boyfriend, but I know our friendship is worth more than my little crush. How do I get over him? 

It sounds like you are thinking rationally about your situation, and the issue is the emotional aspect of things. Lucky for you, squashing emotions is my specialty!

If physical attraction is the problem, then envisioning him doing something incredibly unattractive every time you feel the pang of desire should do the trick. In the past, I have found success imagining someone chasing after a ping pong ball, running with a backpack on, or wearing a tucked-in shirt at the gym. If lust is not the issue, then you unfortunately may need to resort to the therapist-approved give-it-time strategy. Accept how you feel and let it pass, which it eventually will. There are plenty of fish in the sea — Williams is just a puddle. 

Someone’s laundry was done in the washer, and I put their clothes in the dryer. I thought that was the correct thing to do, but they sent an angry text in the dorm GroupMe. Am I in the wrong? 

The laundry room is the Wild West, and every man is for himself. The carnage I have seen on weekend mornings has left me scarred. If I were in your shoes, I probably would have left the clothes on top of the washer, because people have unique preferences about how to dry their clothes, but your response is no less logical. It’s a dog-eat-dog world down there, so I think if you are not there when your load is finished, then you do not have the right to complain. 

Got any mindless content recommendations for winter break? I am trying to ensure that I have zero seconds alone with my thoughts. 

While avoiding your feelings is probably not the best thing to do long term, I am happy to help you with your distraction project in the interim. Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Below Deck are my go-to TV shows for when I want to be entertained without being meaningfully stimulated. I also like aesthetically beautiful, slow movies like Babette’s Feast and The Fantastic Mr. Fox because they’re pleasing in a disinterested way. I have found similar success with mainstream fiction books, such as Normal People, My Year of Rest and Relaxation, and The Silent Patient. You want a form of media that is easy on the mind. 

I am so overwhelmed with final exams and projects. Please show me some reason and tell me it will all be okay.

It feels like I am one of those runners who has collapsed 26 miles into a marathon and is quite literally crawling to the finish line, so I relate to this very much. I will tell you what I tell myself: It’s all going to be okay. The semester is going to be done before you know it, and it will all be behind you. You got this, seriously.