Dear Ephelia

Ephelia Ephelia

Does anyone really make friends in class?

I wouldn’t say it is common, but it’s certainly possible. While I don’t think you could get away with mid-class side conversations, you can certainly introduce yourself to people in your class or TA session. Ask to do work together or maybe to grab a meal if you think your classroom acquaintance could be a real friend.

Dear Ephelia, I have been talking to this guy recently. He’s great and I like spending time with him, but I recently discovered what I believe to be his Reddit account. He doesn’t seem to be posting anything morally wrong, but he is alarmingly active on the r/ Gymnastics subreddit. What should I do?

To be honest, it’s a little strange for an adult man to be an active member of an online gymnastics fan club, but, out of respect, I will withhold judgment and suggestive jokes.

If you really like him, then you have two options: Pretend you never found the account or confront him. Ask yourself what you would gain from knowing the truth, and if the benefits outweigh the cost of making yourself look like a creep, then go with the latter option. I would start by testing the waters, throwing a little gymnastics into your conversations to see how he responds. If you bring up some controversial gymnastics topic, maybe he will reveal his secret Reddit identity without you even asking — you could even turn to his Reddit for inspiration. Direct confrontation is always an option too, but again, ask yourself if it’s worth it. Only you know the particulars of this Reddit account and the nature of your relationship, so let those guide your decision. May the odds be ever in your favor.

The weeks leading up to Thanksgiving Break were a grind, and I neglected a lot of my friendships. How, if at all, should I reach out after being unresponsive and avoidant?

A simple “Hey, what’s up. Sorry I haven’t been responsive lately — things have been a little hectic” should do the trick. People generally understand how it feels to be overwhelmed and will not hold it against you — and your friends might have sensed you were struggling if this behavior is out of character — so do not self-isolate or catastrophize. Consider opening up about your behavioral patterns to friends so that they know what to expect moving forward and keep working toward finding the ever-elusive work-life balance.

I have this thing where I don’t let people on my bed with outside clothes. I don’t think it’s particularly weird, but my friends make fun of me for it. What are your thoughts?

College students have strayed too far from cleanliness, and it seems like people have forgotten that beds are strictly for clean, inside clothes. Your dirty friends are the ones who are weird, and tell them Ephelia said so.