When I hold the door for someone and get a “thank you” in response, what do I say? If I remain silent, I feel like I’m being rude. If I say, “You’re welcome,” it’s awkward. 

— Good Samaritan

A simple “sure” acknowledges the gesture while smoothly ending the interaction. It’s even more effective if you don’t make eye contact.

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I’ve gotten dinner at Mission twice with my crush. Is dinner at ’82 the next step? Are we dating? 

— Cautiously Optimistic

It all depends, Cautiously Optimistic. Where did you sit? If you’ve been getting dinner at Mission at those long tables, I have some bad news for you: you and your crush are platonic. There is nothing that screams “just friends” like eating cauliflower-crust pizza next to the entire WUFO team during its sweaty post-practice meal. Your crush just wants to be friends. Sorry.

If, however, you sat at one of those two-person tables, congratulations! You’re probably already in a committed relationship. The next step is not ’82; it is marriage.

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I’m a Non-Athlete Regular Person, I’m legally allowed to drink, and I like to go out, but 70 just isn’t doing it for me. How can I make myself look and seem like an athlete and go to 66 this weekend without giving away my true identity? 

— NARP

At the 66 party, if anyone asks what sports team you’re on, just say “the men’s team” or “the women’s team,” and expect that they know what you’re talking about. 

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I matched with my TA on Tinder. Did she swipe right just because she knows me, or does she want this to go anywhere?

— Div. III Eph

It depends: How’s your chemistry during TA sessions? Is she older than you, or are you on equal footing? Have you had any one-on-one interactions outside of sessions? Try DMing her a question about the material through Tinder, and then move the conversation to other, more amorous topics.

***

I love my roommate — we’ve been best friends since our first year — but his phone alarm is Nickelback’s “Far Away.” What should I do? How can I address this with him without causing offense?

— Tired and Conflicted

The next Housing Mini-Lottery begins Oct. 8.

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Need some advice? Wondering, “What would Ephelia do?” This week, we fielded  questions from our board. But email [email protected], and we’ll answer your most pressing questions!