Students at the College know the disappointment all too well: A rare, decent party is shut down by the arrival of Campus Safety Services (CSS). But while CSS officers are required to manage the campus party scene, they occasionally notice — and rejoice — when parties are particularly lively. The Record sat down with CSS officers to hear about the most memorable of the parties they’ve had to shut down.
“Some [of the] things that have happened over the years with parties … we find funny,” Safety Patrol Supervisor Scott Braman said. “It makes it fun to come to work.”
CSS Officer Nancy Macauley, who began working at the College in 2012, said that, during her early years as an officer, she was consistently confronted with the rugby team’s antics — most often in Wood House.
“[The rugby parties] were so much fun,” Macauley said. “I loved going. We’d go check [on the party], and we’d have to get them to downsize, because they got big.” But Macauley said that she admires students who throw parties that are just plain good.
“One time I pulled up [to a rugby party at Wood], and I was like, ‘What are you guys doing?’” Macauley recalled. “They had gone to Vermont and arranged to buy a whole pig… They had started cooking [it] at five in the morning. I was horrified. I was like, ‘Don’t eat this. You guys, first of all, don’t know what you’re doing. Why are you doing this? What is the purpose?’”
“Well, it’s cold,” the boys responded.
Ultimately, after warning the boys about the dangers of disease, Macauley convinced a portion of the team to abstain from eating the pig.
Both Braman and Macauley agreed that the College has suffered from a decline in fun in recent years. “I just wish there’s some way that spark can happen again,” Macauley said.
“I respect them even trying to do the pig roast … because it’s creative,” Macauley said. “They took the time to plan it out … I wish there was more creativity [now].”
That same caucus of rugby boys once hosted an art-themed party that Macauley classified as “so cool.” Party attendees carried frames outlining their faces. One of the boys — who Macauley ultimately befriended after their paths crossed several times — had costumed himself as Van Gogh, wearing yellow paint, a bandaged ear, and a hat.
Braman, who characterized his college-age self as “foolish,” said he respects students who fully commit to their tomfoolery. In fact, he’s even concocted some of his own retaliatory antics during his time in the Purple Valley.
During Braman’s first year working at the College 28 years ago, he and his colleagues attempted to confiscate a keg of beer from a party in Bryant during the winter. The officers made the partygoers help them load what they thought was the right keg into their vehicle. But as they were wrangling the vessel out of the basement, the fire alarm went off.
“I was on the basement floor, and somebody yelled,” Braman recalled. “I looked up, and they dumped a pitcher of beer on my head.” The officers attempted to chase down the beer-dumping culprit but were ultimately unsuccessful.
“As we went to take [the keg] out of our car, we realized [the students] had switched kegs during the fire alarm and replaced the full keg with an empty keg,” Braman said. “And here I was with beer icicles on my head… The officer I was working with knew who did it, so we proceeded to wrap that student’s car in saran wrap in the freezing cold.”
According to Braman, keg-related face-offs were not an unusual occurrence. He recalled another incident in Gladden involving members of the Class of 2003: CSS had confiscated a keg, and, again, had the students help load it into a vehicle. “They acted like it was heavy,” he said. “They did a great job. And when the keg went back to the garage [where CSS stores confiscated kegs], the person who was in charge asked officers to come help her with the keg. And the keg was, in fact, empty.”
While Braman admitted that the keg-switchers may have peeved him, he still respected their craftiness. “No matter what the age of the students, they’re always trying to think of a gimmick or something to get over the system,” Braman said. “It’s a game. None of us take it personally. It’s hilarious.”
Braman executed his first successful keg confiscation occured in 1998 — though he gave the students involved credit for attempting to hide the keg in the dryer. “I mean, that was a tremendous effort,” he said. “No question.”
Despite their prodigious attempt to keep the keg out of sight, the students had neglected to turn its hose off. As Braman walked past the machine, beer started dripping all over the floor and onto his shoe, foiling the students’ scheme.
Beyond kegs, Braman had no shortage of tales to share. In 2002, late on the night before homecoming, Braman was out patrolling the streets. “I was extremely tired,” he said. “There was a lot of fog coming up from the warm ground. And I was heading down toward Agard, and I thought I saw what looked to be a moose walking down the street.”
As it turns out, it was not a moose, but rather four students, at 4:45 a.m., with their hands sticking out the windows of a car, holding a foosball table on their roof. As soon as they spotted Braman, the driver slammed the brakes and the table slid off the roof, crushing the car’s windshield. After checking to ensure that all of the students were safe, Braman forced them to walk the foosball table back to their dorm.
Braman noted that party culture — and CSS’s involvement in parties — has changed since he began working at the College. “For the first 10 years of my job, we would meet with ACE [All Campus Entertainment] and they would let us know what they wanted to do, and we would push them in a way that they could do it — that they could have a safe event,” he said. “We used to do a lot more things — masquerade balls — there was a lot more campus interaction. There was something to do for everyone on campus.”
Both Braman and Macauley agreed that the College’s students ought to reignite their boisterous spirit. “My message would be to bring the creativity back,” Macauley said.
“There’s a lot of pressure here — academically, athletically, musically — and I think we need to do more together so that students can blow off steam safely and still have a great experience,” Braman added.
