Aries 

Do not complain that you have “so much work” to do over break. You’ll be writing that midterm essay on your way back from sunny California. There are worse places to write about Shakespeare.

Taurus 

I know the first half of the semester flew by, but there is no need to panic about the transitory experience of college. 

Gemini 

For someone who loves yapping, your class presentation felt underwhelming. Work on public speaking over break. We recommend watching Sen. Katie Boyd Britt’s delivery of the Republican response to the State of the Union.

Cancer 

No need to remind your friends that you will miss them so much. The sentiment is sweet, but break’s only two weeks.

Leo 

Stop bragging about the thesis for your midterm essay on your private story. No one cares!

Virgo 

You can try your best to plan the perfect itinerary but can’t predict food poisoning. You can however prevent alcohol poisoning. Lay off the margaritas.  

Libra

Can’t decide which pictures to post for your Spring Break Instagram dump? The answer is none. No one cares. 

Scorpio 

Save debating for your political science class, not your grandparents. 

Sagittarius 

Enjoy your travels during spring break, but remain cautious. Donning a Lululemon belt bag over a purple sweater with an embroidered ‘W’ might draw attention to you and your wallet.

Capricorn 

Those beach pics ate. He will definitely hit you up when he sees those pics even though he said he literally does not like you or see you in that way. You go girl! 

Aquarius 

Deciding to spend the break at home to “recharge” does not mean to rot in bed. Try getting out of your pajamas this break. 

Pisces

Scrolling on TikTok is not a Spring Break activity. Go outside. Please.