One in 2000

I came upon Mary Wilson Molen ’09 in Goodrich after having seen her the night before walking with her boyfriend. The situation was not as awkward, nor she as hung-over, as I had anticipated.

So Mary Wilson Molen, where does the name come from?

Well it’s a Southern double name. Mary comes from both sides of the family, Wilson is on my mom’s side of the family, and my parents just decided to stick them together and saddle me with a very confusing name.

Where in the South are you from?

Birmingham, Alabama.

So being from Alabama, how important is “Sweet Home Alabama” to you? The song or the movie.

The movie I found entertaining, but it irritated me that it wasn’t actually shot in Alabama. It was shot in Georgia.

Ugh.

Yeah, it irritates a lot of Alabamians. The song is fun. If I hear it played at a party, I’ll be like “this is my song!”

Fun. And you’re a swimmer right?

Yeah.

But you weren’t recruited as a swimmer?

I actually was.

[Incredulous] You were?

Yeah.

They told me you were a walk-on.

Well, technically we’re all walk-ons because none of us get scholarships.

Okay that makes some sense. And you have a nickname on the teams?

Yes. It is Dubs.

For the Wilson?

Yeah, for the “W” in Wilson. Some of my friends in high school started calling me that and then I come up here for my recruiting trip for swimming and they’re like “Okay, what’s your name” and I’m like “Mary Wilson” and they’re like “That’s kind of a mouthful” and I said “Well, my friends at home call me Dubs.” And they’re like “Okay we’re going to call you that!” And then since I was visiting over Halloween, they dressed me up as a duck for no reason whatsoever but somehow it stuck as Dubs the Duck for a brief time. So when I come up here as a freshman and I’m taking my little swim test, I’m talking to the life guard and she’s on the swim team and she’s like “Oh yeah, I remember you! Dubs – the Duck!” But fortunately that’s died.

The duck has died?

The duck has died, yes.

That’s depressing. [She doesn’t seem to agree] So what’s the swim team like?

The swim team’s great. We’re just really a kinda culty group of people who hang out a lot – wet and half naked, so it’s fun.

Always fun.

Yeah, that was an interesting recruit weekend. I ended up assisting a JA dressed as a Mexican chasing a duffle bag around campus who was running and falling and trying to steal bikes and ride off, and I got hit on by a drunken leprechaun – It was fun.

Wow. And you still decided to come here – or because of that you decided to come here. I don’t know what kind of leprechaun fetishes you might have.

[Laughs] The leprechaun was another pre-frosh who did not come here, so that was not a part of my decision – The duffle bag and the Mexican and the unicorn, however, were.

A start to any good college experience. I also hear you’re narcoleptic?

No. [0 for 2] I am not officially narcoleptic. I have actually gotten a study done to prove that I’m not narcoleptic. I do fall asleep a lot. It’s just happened since like fourth grade – I’ll just be sitting in class and I just doze off. But it’s not narcolepsy. I guess I’m just always very tired.

That’s comforting. My friends tell me that I’m narcoleptic because I can fall asleep anywhere within about two minutes.

The problem is that I just can’t control it [Neither can I]. Honestly, even if it’s a class I’m very interested in I’ll just be like [Demonstrates sleeping].

Have you ever used actual narcolepsy as an excuse to anyone?

No. I explained that “I might potentially be narcoleptic” to explain why I was falling asleep in class, but then I got the test done so I can’t use that anymore because I’m not.

What kind of test is it?

Well there are two kinds of tests I had done. One is just an overnight sleep study where they stick electrodes all over you and then you sleep and they monitor all kinds of stuff like your breathing and your heart rate, how much you wake up and eye movement. That proved I’m borderline for sleep apnea but not really. I’m right underneath the cutoff for that. And then the next day they took off a lot of the electrodes and I had to try to take naps every couple of hours and they would study how long it would take me to fall sleep and whether I went into REM sleep or whatever.

And you’re also dating Robbie Amster [’11] of Combo Za fame. What’s that like?

Very entertaining and sometimes incredibly frustrating because he loves to make “that’s what she said” jokes no matter what I say – this, among other fun traits like his inability to wake up ever. Yeah, I guess it works because I’m borderline narcoleptic.

I was about to say maybe we should test him for narcolepsy.

Maybe we should. It’s more that he just doesn’t want to wake up.

That and I think he would enjoy electrodes.

Yeah, he would.

You’re also a history major right?

History and English. Interesting thing about history, in Professor Wood’s “History of European Warfare” last spring, we made a working battering ram and used it to destroy another group’s siege wall. It was pretty sweet.

Nice. Any trebuchets in your future?

I wish. No trebuchets. I’m sure I could recruit Robbie to help with that if we ever decided do to that.

Or at least shoot him from it.

[Laughs] That would be fun.