Ask Moesha and Judy

Dear Moesha and Judy,
One of my friends is the kind of guy you just know did not have a lot of dating experience in high school. He was really awkward and shy initially, but now he is becoming more outgoing – hanging out on the weekends and even drinking. However, I am starting to get worried because I have noticed that he has been getting too drunk and using that as an excuse to try and hook up with girls. Now, he’ll leave as soon as we get to a party and “prowl” for his “lucky lady of the night.” I have heard some girls talking about how they think he is a creeper. I know he is a really nice guy who is ordinarily too shy to talk to girls, so I feel like I should talk to him about his latest behavior. I just don’t want him to get a bad reputation with the girls on campus, but I also don’t know how to tell him without making him withdraw back to his introverted shell.

Protective Pal

Dear Protective Pal,
It sounds like time for a makeover. The harsh truth is that attractive people can be as creepy as they want and still get action at the end of the night. Take your friend to Bennington. There, you can get him some hair wax, some polo t-shirts, some tight-but-not-too-revealing slacks and some Puma sneakers and/or loafers. If he has money left over, buy him some manly rings as well. Additionally, you should help him practice his smug expression in the mirror, and also make sure he wears his polos with a little bit of chest hair showing, and viola! Your friend can be as creepy as he wants, and he will never sleep alone.

Moesha

Dear Protective Pal,
Honestly, it’s nice to see that someone noticed his transformation because in fact, I’d wager to bet that the majority of people on campus didn’t get that much play in high school either. Your friend is no different from so many others who suddenly discovered the wonders that alcohol can work on their inhibitions and confidence – temporarily. On some level, it’s great to see that his confidence has increased. I would hope that he’s just going through a stage; however, the creepy thing is a problem, especially at such a small school. I suggest an initial attempt at subtlety. Perhaps recount an anecdote about one of your female friends being “weirded out” by some drunk guy, and mention how you know girls aren’t too impressed by it. Try to help him along by introducing him, while he is sober, to some nice girls. But don’t just leave him in the lions’ den; stay with him, and help along the conversation. Make sure he is comfortable, and be a good wingman.

Judy

Dear Moesha and Judy,
Now that the semester is winding down, I am starting to realize that most of my close friends are going to be gone in the spring. It seems like I am the only one who is going to be stuck on campus. I consider myself to be pretty friendly, so I have lots of acquaintances. However, I am not especially close with any of them, although they invite me to hang out with them a lot. Now it’s finally hitting me how lonely I am going to be. I am scared of not having anyone to hang out with next semester, but I don’t know if I can suddenly be buddy-buddy with a whole new group of people without it being weird for them and my current friends for the rest of the semester.

Solitary Spirit

Dear Solitary Spirit,
This sounds like a perfect opportunity to do some self-exploration. Think about it, you have three months to be alone all the time! That rarely happens in college – especially one as small as Williams. There are several productive one-person activities you could take up. You should use this next semester to count and categorize your freckles and moles as well as get really good at Minesweeper. Also, if you want to make a lot of new friends, you could be a vigilante cleanup crew. As most incidents involving vomit happen on weekends, and the janitors don’t arrive until Monday, it would be a useful and worthwhile pastime to go cleanup puke around campus. You could end up being the underdog hero of Williams. They may even give you a cool alias like “Mr. Clean.”

Moesha

Dear Solitary Spirit,
My advice: Take it slow. Your friends are leaving at the semester, so you should enjoy them while they are here. That said, don’t be afraid to start hanging out a bit more with some of your other acquaintances. These two things certainly don’t have to be mutually exclusive, but you don’t have to rush into anything with people you don’t know all that well either. Start small with lunch dates, or maybe accept a few invitations to hang out with them. If you find that you have more in common, let it develop. Friendships evolve naturally, but I think it’s crucial that you put yourself out there. College can be lonely enough as is. Take a risk and go out with these acquaintances one night. Or you can put your networking skills to the test and arrange a get-together with your friends and these acquaintances. You’ve got nothing to lose.

Judy

Need advice? Ask Moesha and Judy! E-mail askmoeshaandjudy@gmail.com.