One in 2000

I found Heath Pruitt near the Snack bar one night – he appeared to have been expecting me.

So Heath Pruitt –

Yup.

I’ve been told about your mad basketball skillz, with a “z,” despite your short stature –

Yeah well, I’m from Indiana, so the general stereotype is that people from Indiana can play basketball.

Hoosiers.

Yeah, exactly. So being one of the only people from Indiana that I know out here – well the only, actually – I figure it’s up to me to keep it alive. So yeah, I’ve got a sweet shot. I go to the gym every now and again and it’s Drain-O.

That’s awesome – so does Hoosiers itself hold any inspiration for you?

Well, not so much inspiration as much as a sacred place I guess. Everybody back home can pretty much quote the movie line for line.

Nice – that’s like my family with Remember the Titans, except we have nothing in common with those people whatsoever. So, not gonna lie, I kind of stalked you a bit before this.

Okay – a little creepy.

So I got to look at the “The Many Faces of Heath Pruitt” [album on Facebook].

Oh yeah, that – “The Many Faces of Heath Pruitt.”

Are those all the faces?

Those are just about all of them.

I counted, it’s like twenty-something –

There are way too many – I actually had to manufacture a couple of them. Some of them aren’t even mine. I think I plagiarized them from somewhere.

So you just decided to make faces?

Yeah – it was back last fall, one of those nights when you get back to the entry and there’s very little else to do sometimes, and somebody just says something that makes you think, “Well I wanna go and take a bunch of pictures of myself.”

Oh yeah, I know what you mean. So how’s your love life?

[Laughs] My love life, where’d you hear about that?

A little birdy said that it’s quite interesting and that there’s a humorous anecdote or three in there.

Humorous anecdote or three. I mean I’m sure there are. The problem with my love life right now is that it’s pretty much non-existent, which is a shame because I have so much to offer –

You can really just use this interview as your personal ad, right now.

Okay, I enjoy long walks on the beach – Well, apparently where I go wrong a lot of times is that I ask girls to go for walks, and apparently I should never do that. Never ask girls to go for walks.

Especially like into the woods or something –

Yeah, you don’t wanna do that – it was just around campus. I’d just say “Hey, you wanna go for a walk?” and that’s apparently the point where she realizes that she doesn’t want to go for a walk and in fact doesn’t want to talk to me for a while. It’s kind of embarrassing actually.

Have you tried like “do you want to go for a run?” Or like, “a hike?”

You know, I have tried the go for a run thing, but that only works for a very select audience –

Cross country team, look out.

Exactly – well, [shrugs] I’ve uh, been there, done that. [Laughs]

What else do you like to do, Heath?

Well, lately, I’ve been making a lot of lists.

Lists?

Yeah, lists of things to do, “to-do lists” if I can put it like that – It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy because the first thing on my to do list was make a to-do list.

Good.

So checked that off. I still have to grow a beard and write a novel.

Those are two things I would also like to do.

Yeah, but I feel like the novel is probably going to come before the beard.

Really?

Yeah, I’m in trouble there.

Well you’ve got a little. [I gesture towards his budding facial hair]

I’ve got a little bit, but I’m hoping the stuff on my cheeks and my chin will see all the fun that this stuff is having down here and want to join in. Hasn’t worked yet.

So what else do you want Williams to know about Heath Pruitt?

Well I started a radio show last weekend with this guy John Levinsohn ’10. It’s called “No Contest.” Sundays nights, 9-11. We’re billing the greatest radio show ever.

Ever?

Yeah – We’ve got high hopes.

So does the radio show have any sort of particular theme, genre? Target audience? Audience?

Well actually right now we’re just looking to boost listenership because John had the radio show last year and he said that generally he could estimate his listeners as right around two – being his parents listening from Ann Arbor, Mich. So we were hoping to at least double it – and I figure if my parent’s listen do it, we’ll be up to four.

But yeah, if your parents are listening, you can only blow off steam in certain ways.

Good point. No, I actually haven’t told my parents yet. I wanna see how the first couple go before I really let them in on it.

But John could hate you depending on what you say and what his parents hear.

Well John hates me anyway. We really feel like you don’t need any rapport to have a radio show. And luckily we both have faces for radio.

Well, now you can cross 1 in 2000 off your to-do list.

All right. I’m going to go put it on there and then mark it off.

Probably a smart idea.