Ask Moesha & Judy

Dear Moesha and Judy,
My friend and I are very close and we always hang out together. As a result, lots of people have come to associate us as one unit. The only problem is that I always feel like everyone is comparing us, and I usually end up being in her shadow. I constantly feel like I am the less attractive, less witty and less liked of the two of us and it has really started to affect me. Now I feel a need to prove that I am as pretty, funny and cool as she is to everyone. I realize that this is unhealthy and I even notice myself being unnecessarily mean to her out of anger, but I don’t know what to do. How do I get over being jealous of my best friend?

Admittedly Green

Dear Admittedly Green,
The solution to this problem is a two-pronged attack. First, you need to start acting more like your best friend. That way, she will like you more because you are more like her, and everyone else will like you more for the same reason. And while you are becoming the “new her,” you need to make everyone else hate the “old her” (i.e. her). A good place to start would be by buying all of your friends freeze pops. As we all know, nothing is more refreshing on a muggy Williamstown day than a freeze pop. Especially while eating said pops with your friends, discuss the thinning of your best friend’s hair and how she speaks at an inappropriately loud volume in English class. With your help, they will soon realize how irritating she truly is, and that you are better because you buy them things. Caveat! Once your plan is complete, you must continue to buy your friends tasty treats, as this will be the crux of your appeal.

Moesha

Dear Admittedly Green,
Your situation is unfortunately all too common, yet is often put on the back-burner to sizzle away. It’s wonderful to have a best friend, and it’s exciting to have such cool one, but yeah, sometimes you can’t help but compare. Here is the thing: while you two may be considered a unit, remember that a unit is a whole, and units don’t have one good side and one “not quite as good” side. They’re complete, and more importantly, the sides complete each other. Resist the urge to compare yourself to your BFF because I can assure you that no one else does, and I bet you’re fabulous. Always remember “birds of a feather flock together.”

Judy

Dear Moesha and Judy,
I really enjoy living in my new dorm this year, especially getting to know the people I who live with on my floor. I didn’t even know everyone on the floor of my building before I got here, so it’s been great that I have been able to get along well with all of them so well. However, there is this one girl who always gives me the worst mean looks every time she sees me. She lives just a few doors down from me and we even share a bathroom with each other, so we see each other a lot. I tried being nice and saying “hi” to her in public, but she usually ignores me or pretends she doesn’t see me. At first I thought I was just being paranoid, but others have noticed it too. I just don’t know how I should act so that our mutual coexistence can be more pleasant.

Captain Coexistence

Dear Captain Coexistence,
One thing you will learn here at Williams is that, in life, some people are just haters for no reason. The following is the best way I have found to deal with a hater like this girl. The next time she ignores you, slam your fist into the table and scream “OBJECTION!” Then sustain your own objection and go about your business as if nothing happened. This will accomplish two things. Firstly, the hater in question will no longer be able to ignore you after an episode like this. Secondly, she will be confused, and a confused enemy is a vulnerable enemy. If this doesn’t work, start putting her toothbrush on the floor of the shower. It probably won’t make her be nice to you, but it will be really funny.

Moesha

Dear Captain Coexistence,
My advice is simple, kill that chick with kindness. It’s obviously not about you, so don’t let it get to you. She’s your bathroom-buddy, but that doesn’t mean she has to be your best friend. Like you, I enjoy smiling, chatting and generally being friendly, but I’ve come to realize that there are many people in this world who do not have quite the same zest for interpersonal relations as you and I do. Williams is an amazing place filled with amazing and talented people, but it’s also a place with one of the highest concentrations of socially awkward people. Call it a characteristic of smart people – they can be a bit self-absorbed. So don’t stress and keep on smiling you social butterfly you.

Judy