I spent part of a snowy Sunday afternoon with two lovebirds. Well, crew team members to be more precise. We sat in the warm, romantic comfort of a Paresky meeting room, discussing the intimate details of one of the greatest love stories to ever grace Williams College. Actually, I’m not sure I can say that, but here’s what Pat Chaney ’10 and Joya Sonnenfeldt ’10 had to tell me.
Rumor has it that you are dating. People do that here?
Pat: They do.
Any comments on how you met?
Pat: On how we met? Do you know anything about that? It’s pretty widely known.
Um . . . I don’t.
Joya: Maybe it’s just well known on the crew team.
So you’re both on the crew team . . . boats . . .
Pat: Erging? Erg-a-thon? Very sexy. But we were talking met, or got together?
Ah! You tell me!
Pat: Um, I don’t actually remember how we met. We just met being on crew. We got together in the stairwell in Mission waiting in line for Queer Bash.
Pat: We didn’t actually make it to Queer Bash.
Okay, let’s change the subject. Pat, rumor has it that you wore a bandana on your face for all of KAOS.
Joya: That’s just not true . . . that’s a blatant lie.
I have even more rumors . . .
Pat: I’d love to hear them. When entering a building, you must make the decision whether or not to wear the bandana because if you don’t, the target’s friends might recognize you, but if you do, everyone in the building will instantly know you’re in there to kill someone. I did wear a bandana for a couple of my kills. For a few of my more spectacular . . . bursting-out surprises.
Joya, were you part of any of this?
Joya: Uhh . . . I helped with costume.
Was it like a skeleton costume . . . or a wooly mammoth?
Joya: No. It was “try and make Pat not look like Pat by putting him in sweatpants and ridiculous clothing.”
Pat: I’ve been told I’m reasonably distinctive and of course, being distinctive in KAOS is something of a disadvantage.
I have more rumors. I’m going to ask Joya to confirm them: Pat brought steaks from wild cattle he personally wrestled with to his WOOLFies.
Joya: False. He wanted to, but ended up bringing a different delicious meal . . . some concoction of Amanda Widing’s [’10] design . . .
Pat: They’re called banana boats.
Well speaking of bananas, can you guys break a banana in half using your bare hands?
Pat: Well, I do know the pop-it-open-by-holding-the-stem-trick.
I’ve never seen that.
Pat: You hold the stem, so the banana is sticking out of your hand and you crack it like a whip. It looks like you opened it normally, except it’s way more badass.
So Pat, what’s Joya’s most annoying quality?
Pat: I’ll be truthful in this case. Occasional extreme indecisiveness.
That’s a killer. Wow! Yeah. I bet! Like when you’re at the library.
Pat: We don’t go there.
The 14th of this month is Valentine’s Day. Do you have plans? Inspire the Williams couples out there.
Pat: Relax! Have fun.
Joya: Don’t do homework.
All right, those are seriously the lamest suggestions ever. Are you going anywhere? Vermont? Vermont sounds romantic.
Pat: We were thinking about this earlier, but that indecisiveness thing got to us.
Joya: Don’t blame this on me!
Are you guys a PDA couple?
Pat: Public displays of affection?
It’s gross. So don’t answer yes. Anyway, I have more rumors. Pat, you worked as a bear trapper.
Pat: Incorrect! I worked at a biology project and one of the things we did was track bears. Bear hunting sounds like you’re hunting them, like you’re going to kill the bear. What we were doing was tracking them to be able to trap them and then radio collar them.
For . . .
Was this your own personal project?
Pat: No. You know them nature specials where they got like the radio antenna, and they’re lookin’ for the whatever-it-is, with the radio collar on it . . .
Sure . . . ?
Pat: That’s what I was doing.
Joya: In Ecuador.
There are bears in Ecuador?
Pat: The Andean Spectacled Bears. The only species of bear in South America.
Joya, would you compare him to these bears?
Joya: I’ve never actually seen these alleged bears except in photos but they were tranquilized and Pat’s usually more alive than that.
Would you ever tranquilize him?
Joya: Probably not.
Would you ever tranquilize her?
Do you guys have mutual favorites? Things? Movies? What’s your favorite dining hall?
Greylock’s a romantic place.
Pat: I wouldn’t call it that.
Yeah I really wouldn’t either but I was hoping one of you would bite on it. What would you say is the most romantic spot on campus?
Pat: Besides Mission staircase . . . ?