So, how is it going working with Barb and Gail?
It’s awesome. Anybody who’s anybody knows Barb and Gail. Aside from the calendar and student activities they also run the best dating service on campus. I’m a matchmaker in training.
That’s a good thing. This campus needs some actual, not socially awkward romantic interactions.
I don’t think we really care about the socially awkward part. I just care about getting people some lovin’. We want girls to find a Mr. Wonderful.
Yeah, it’s a doll. My friend Noah [Jaffe ’05] gave it to us..He’s buff, with chiseled cheek bones, parts his hair on the side and says things like, “The football game isn’t really THAT important. . .I’d rather spend time with you” and “Here, you take the remote. I don’t care what we watch.” I feel like every girl needs one of those.
So, who’s lovin’ are you caring about right now, Veronica?
Currently, I am working on finding ACE’s resident Mr. Wonderful, Drew Newman ’04, a woman. He’s an energetic SWM who likes long walks on the beach, the Tampa Bay Bucs and is looking for a woman who has her own website, rides the Motor Coach and will be a good First Lady. All interested ladies should stop by the office across from the Snack Bar.
Nice ad. . .
Oh, and Alexis Chernak ’05, the one responsible for this interview, is also searching for a nice, attractive guy.
You know, she is going to kill you.
Not if I find her a great guy.
So, why in the world should they trust you to find them someone?
I’m not sure if they do, but I’m convinced that my matchmaking skills aren’t completely off. I did manage to find myself a guy who can deal with my Miami ways.
Your Miami ways?
You know. I’m a loud Cuban who values good fun and a good tan, not to mention the Catholic school girl part.
You mean your “Catholic school girl” attire?
I feel like I should take offense to that somehow.
Well if the shirt doesn’t fit. . .
Not funny. We are no longer friends.
In that case, anyone looking for gossip on Veronica, please continue reading. Why don’t you tell the Mission Hill story?
I really don’t find this story as amusing as you do. So, I had the brilliant idea that I could run down Mission Hill in heels, and completely ate it. Fortunately, I was wearing my Victoria’s Secret armor bra â€“ you know the type â€“ and it broke my fall. So my boobs got hurt but the face was intact. Once again, Victoria’s Secret was there for me. I think Emily [Tomassi ’05] described it like the scene in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” when the fake Jessica Rabbit fell. You know the scene. I personally like to think it wasn’t that bad. And well. . . you know where the night went from there.
Of course every college student knows where the night went from there.
Okay, no! It was innocent.
Coming from you, that’s not surprising.
I know!… I have seen “Animal House,” not to mention “90210.” I know that college is supposed to be all crazy-like, and here I am a junior with no good drunken hook-up stories to tell. How pathetic is that?
Apparently quite since we just told it. So, what makes you think your fellow Ephs have such a crazy time?
I was at First Chance Dance. Let me just say that it seemed like people were having a good time. People were dancing with broomsticks, couches were flipping over. . ..
Any unlikely couples?
Nice try. I am definitely not allowed to say any names. Not to mention, I go to the Snack Bar I see them all running around, holding hands, all kissy-kissy.
Kissy-kissy? What are you, three?
You are not helping my cause.
Well, maybe you just need to spend more time in the Snack Bar. Everybody goes to the Snack Bar.
Yeah, see, I have issues with this. I love the Snack Bar, love curly fries, but what I don’t like is that people use it as a social crutch. It shouldn’t just be a place to go at 12 when your night isn’t going as planned. We should try to make the best of what’s going on on campus and then use it as a weekly Last Chance Dance. . .a way to end the night.
Hey, I go to the Snack Bar when I’m bored. I feel a bit offended by this.
Don’t be. You of all people should know that late night grilled cheese enhances late night lovin’.
The audience is not going to have any idea what that means. And I think I like it that way.
Well then. . .anyone looking for gossip on Elena should just come ask.