Sawyer Superlative: Best of the DVDs

“No Late Fees Ever. Free Shipping – Both Ways. Over 12,000 titles.”

Thus goes the inescapable pop-up window for Netflix, the online DVD rental agency.

But why join Netflix when Williams offers its own DVD selection right in the A/V department of the architectural wonder that is Sawyer library? While the AV department does not hold a candle to the 12,000-strong Netflix library, it is still something of an undiscovered gem in its own right. If you can squeeze through the narrow stacks to check out the 300-odd titles we think you’ll be pleasantly surprised, if not at least somewhat amused, by the sheer randomness of what you’ll find.

And if you’re too busy to look for yourself, we squeezed our fat behinds into the stacks to take a peak at what’s available. Here are some of the best:

DVD Most Likely to Disappoint Those Looking for Hot-Tubs and Thongs: Nelly and Mister Arnaud

Best Chick Flick for Him: Dick

Worst Prequel/Sequel Pair: Star War Episode I: The Phantom Menace, American Pie 2

“I Can Think of Two Things Wrong with That Title”: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Best DVD for After Brooks Late Night: Ghostbusters, Existenz

Best DVD About the Construction of the New Theater: Taste of Cherry

Most Likely Requested by a Professor: Chelovek’s Kino-Apparatom

Most Intriguingly-Titled German DVD: Die Blechtrommel

Best How-To: Boogie Nights

Most Pretentious Spelling of a Delicious Confection Starring Johnny Depp: Chocolat

Best DVD for Stoners and Cara Cipriano ’03: Fantasia 2000

Best Party DVD: Stop Making Sense

Best Kubrick DVD: Full Metal Jacket

Worst Kubrick DVD: Barry Lyndon

Best Instructional Video for Hitting on a Professor: Rushmore

DVD Least Likely to be Quoted by Hall O’Donnell ’03: Bridget Jones’ Diary

DVD Most Likely to #$%@ with Your Head: Mulholland Dr.

Worst Mel Gibson DVD You’ve Never Heard of, Co-Written by Bono: The Million Dollar Hotel

Best Title Featuring a Mixed Number (tie): 8 1/2, 8 1/2 Women

Best Weather in a DVD: Brazil

Best Plumbing in a DVD: Trainspotting