Evan, let’s start with an easy question: What are you taking for Winter Study?
Anything to say about it?
It’s the best Winter Study class I’ve taken. We cook twice a week, which is something I like doing anyway. The professor, Fox, is really good too. She gets really into all the cooking, makes me want to go to Spain and learn how to do it for real.
So do you cook a lot?
Yeah, we’re all on the 10 meal plan here, so we make a lot of our own food.
Interesting. So would you say you try to medicate your friends with food?
What? No. I don’t even know what that means. I don’t drug my friends with food. What are you talking about?
Never mind. So would you say your interest in Spanish cooking has anything to do with you being from the South?
I don’t really see how they relate.
But you are from the South?
Yeah, I’m from Florida. Orlando.
Orlando. So I assume you’ve worked as a costumed character in Disney World?
No, I escaped from Orlando without having worked for or been associated with Disney World, Universal, Sea World or any of those places.
And could you see that in your future after Williams, going home and doing something like that?
I would never be a costumed person. . . Except maybe, maybe Donald Duck. Just cause he’s the most badass cartoon character.
Who doesn’t like Donald Duck? He’s a duck.
How many pounds of sawdust a day do you think the ride attendants have to put on the vomit in the theme park alone?
Wow, it must be hundreds. Tens of thousands of people go in those parks every week.
All that sawdust comes from somewhere. Trees. They’re clearing forests just for Disney.
Sounds like something an evil empire would do.
You know who Disney’s not as bad as? The Tampa Bay Bucs. There’s an evil franchise. You’re from Florida, did you see the game yesterday?
I watched the game. The Eagles deserved to win. Now there’s a classy football team.
I couldn’t agree more. That game was horribly officiated.
Pro football isn’t really my thing. I follow the college game a lot more closely. We have a lot better college football in Florida than they have in the NFL.
Who do you like?
The Gators. There’ll definitely be a national championship coming to Gainesville in the next three years. This was a rebuilding year; it was tough losing Steve Spurrier.
Rebuilding . Sounds like loser talk.
It is loser talk, we were an extremely awful team compared to normal this year and I’m a little embarrassed to say I’m still a Gators fan.
Embarrassed? Just because your team didn’t do well? So would you say you jump on the bandwagon when your team is doing well, a frontrunner, if you will?
No. It’s just that all the college teams I root for happen to be good.
All right. So this music you’ve got playing sounds pretty upbeat.
Yeah, punk has been a part of my life for the last six, seven years.
Who got you started?
There were a bunch. Rancid, NoFx, MxPx, Bad Religion. I could keep going.
That’s alright. So you used to be a skater. Are you doing anything with that now?
Not professionally. I play a lot of Zelda, which is like skating. I’m helping to design a skate park for Williamstown.
How’d you get that job?
Well, there was a scandal with the electric company. They polluted some ground with toxic materials. Instead of cleaning up the land they contaminated, they’re putting a big cement cap on it and letting me help design a skate park. It’s fun, we’ll see if it actually works.
So, the plan is to let the little kids skate on the toxic cement? Sounds like you’re involved in another corrupt empire, much like Disney. The very thing you were trying to escape back in Florida. You see how I brought it all back around?
Yes. I like circles. Very symmetrical.
It’s a shame we didn’t plan this better. So lets end with some word associations. Orange.
That wasn’t a word association
True. I just wanted to mention him.