One in 2000: Matt Slovitt

Thanks for doing this interview, Matt. I just have a few questions –

I’m sweating. From the palms and from the pits. I sweat. I sweat a lot.

Ok. I’m glad that’s out in the open. First question: when did you first realize you had a gift?

My family would not call it a gift, for starters. I don’t have much experience with acting previously. Mostly with just being silly and weird. “Weird,” you know, has a negative connotation. I don’t like that. Kinda “unique” would be a better way to put it. To maybe quote Robert F. Kennedy just for a second, “Some men see things as they are and ask why, I dream things that never were and ask why not.” So be weird.

Why did you try out for Frosh Revue?

Well, I was on my WOOLF trip, and I was a little quiet the first day, a little nervous about the college experience. But as I became more comfortable with the people, I began to come out of my shell. So then I started telling stories about how I once did the “Bring It On” dance naked on the beach in front of people. And then I would sing and dance. I would rap. I did some “Ride Wid Me” Nelly, and I would juxtapose that against some “Turn Back Time” Cher and a little bit of George Michael. I only know one song. I don’t swing from that side of the plate. So just a little bit of that. Some may call it a gift. I call it being willing to do stuff that others may not ‘cause they’re scared to be “weird.” I’m not scared.

That answers my second question also. Right. . .This character in Frosh Revue, “Timmy Freshman”, the enthusiastic and nerdy lover of “ant farms and boggle,” is your creation. Matt, are you Timmy Freshman?

I think secretly on some levels, interpret that as you may, I might be Timmy Freshman. For example, some might view Timmy Freshman as a “dork.” We live in a society in which “dork” has a negative connotation.

Like “weird”?

Yes! Very good! You’re a good reporter.

I try to make connections.

Yeah, so Timmy Freshman knows he’s a nerd, but he’s still gonna tackle that Screw Dance. He’s not the best dancer as a lot of you may have seen.

I believe he also tries to tackle the booty.

Yes. Yes. Yes. And he liked breasts also. I’d just like to point that out. I don’t know if you can write that.

I don’t think I can, Matt.

Well, Timmy Freshman is a manifestation – you can use that as a fun word – of people being able to act how they really want to. Because I think a lot of people hold themselves back.

Was your Screw Dance experience at all related to Timmy’s?

Interesting. . .yes and no. What I will say is I think I have some better moves than Timmy Freshman. I’m not the best dancer, but I like to dance. I like to feel the rhythm of the songs and move.

What is your dental history?

Do I have nice teeth?

Yes.

I had braces for two and a half years in junior high. That was traumatic. I’m still going through puberty. It’s my eighth year through it. That’s been a challenge. Junior high was very traumatic. Braces were not pretty. Then I got the braces off, so we think great perfect teeth. No. The hand I was dealt was not good. I don’t even like poker. I could not play with this hand. My two front teeth were bonded.

Next question – what do you do when you’re not being hilarious?

I like to talk. To people. I like to party. Drink beer. I like to have a good time. I like to golf. And I like to keep it real.

Some would say that the humor in Frosh review is as universally understood and appreciated as, say, blue jeans or milk. Wouldn’t you agree?

I don’t own a pair of jeans and I’ve never had a glass of milk.

What? I don’t understand.

I don’t own a pair of jeans because I’m a golfer and I wear khakis.

But you don’t play golf all the time.

Some of my friends back home think I’m a representation of a 40- year-old man.

What about this milk?

I don’t like thick drinks, like milk. I drink a lot of water.

Have you ever tried chocolate milk?

Yes. I drink milk that has a taste. Last week my entry forced me to have a sip of straight milk. But other than that I’ve never had milk. I eat a lot of cheese for my calcium.

How does being in Frosh Revue shape your experience of Williams?

I only know Williams from a Frosh Revue perspective. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life after Frosh Revue. Maybe have some more time for the ladies. I plan on being very belligerent often. Some people say I can be “belligerent.” I choose to say “fun.” I’m gonna party and read.

How do you feel now that Frosh Revue is over?

My Frosh Revue compadres – we’ll call them friends for fun – know about this analogy. Frosh Revue is kinda like a 5K charity run. For example, maybe a breast cancer run. It’s not about winning, it’s about showing up and showing your support.

It’s about saving breasts.

Yes. Saving Breasts. Frosh Revue is like a breast cancer run, in a sense, and we’re running together. At the beginning of a race, a gentlemen shoots off a gun to start the race. And Frosh Revue is like that gun.