White Dawgs almost murder Munchkins

Ahh, autumn in Vermont. What could be more beautiful than taking a lovely drive up Route 7 from Williamstown to Middlebury. In the eyes of the many leaf-peepers, the answer is obvious – taking a VERY slow drive up Route 7 from Williamstown to take on the Middlebury Munchkins. Armed with cameras, picnic baskets, and loads of goodwill, the WRFC White Dawgs, in the spirit of the season, took just that delightful outing Saturday afternoon.

Unfortunately, the Dawgs had failed to read the forecast and instead of a pleasant excursion through the good Lord’s painted forests, they received a driving mix of freezing air, frigid rain and liberal ideologies that made Vermont look more like Hell frozen over than a foliage fest.

Conditions were wet, wet enough to make a man suspicious, but the WRFC pressed on. The White Dawgs balled the Middlebury side right from the start. Breaking tradition and the spirit of the Munchkins, the juiced up White Dawgs began the game at full stride, tossing the tiny Middlebury players about, like Stern’s buddy Beetlejuice at a frat party.

The slippery field forced both teams to make many unforced errors, especially early in the match when a ball rolled through the Munchkin try zone before any Williams player could put a hand on it.

The White Dawgs applied offensive pressure to the Munchkins throughout the match. Unfortunately, like the tasty donut-hole that they are named in honor of, the Munchkins proved to be a sweet, yet doughy opponent.

The mighty White Dawgs often found themselves within millimeters of the try-zone only to be repelled by the Munchkins who waited, smiling like a donut.

In the second half, the Dawgs drove within kicking range of the goal, but Zak “Fokker” Haviland ’04 narrowly missed, sending the ball bouncing off the goal-posts back into play.

Luckily, scrummies Ari “Sandman” Kessler ’04, Tom “Bludd” Kramer ’03 and “Denver” Dave Seligman ’05 were waiting to dive in for the recovery. There was another penalty and Haviland sent the ball through the uprights. Once or twice in the game, the Munchkins found themselves within the Williams try-zone, at which point the Dawgs laid such savage hits upon the teeny ruggers that they were forced to reconsider entering again. In the end, the Munchkins walked away with a Pyrrhic victory, but the White Dawgs were decidedly the stronger and more handsome of the two teams.

The Killer Bs, in yet another display of unbridled power, swarmed on Middlebury’s B-Side, the Pipsqueaks, gaining a lead early on. This was fueled by two early tries by Gerry “Huggy Bear” Lindo ’04.

All signs pointed to an easy win for the fearless Killer Bs; a minor complication preempted the gaiety of victory, however – namely, the inability of Middlebury graduates to find employment after college. Energized from lazy days of collecting unemployment, more than a few Middlebury alums found time to play in the B-Side game.

Williams’ Kenyan phenom Dennis Immonje ’05, was shocked to realize that his older brother, despite his expired student visa, was playing for the Pipsqueak side! Promised jobs in the Middlebury development office if they won, these Pipsqueak ringers used their unfair experience and size to ultimately tie the B-Side match at 15-15, a disappointment to the youthful and Honor-Code-abiding Williams’ side.

In the words of WRFC President David “Lamphump” Brenninkmeyer ’03, “This narrow loss is a testament to the far-reaching power of the evil despot Saddam Hussein, who now seems to control Vermont’s liberal arts colleges. Until there is a regime change in Iraq, we cannot have a fair rugby game on American soil.”