One in 2000: Chris Boucher

Chris Boucher ’03

Dorm Doughty 205

Home North Adams, Mass.

Denies townie roots

First, I want to ask you about this Angela Lansbury workout video you have here.

There isn’t much to that story. My friend Emily ordered it off of eBay.

Did you specifically request this item?

No. I am a fan of Angela Lansbury, a fact that I was hiding, but now I suppose it is out in the open. I actually haven’t gotten through the entire tape. I’m not sure what to think of this tape. . . but she definitely is a fun lady.

Do you prefer her in Murder She Wrote or as the star of her own line of fitness tapes?

Actually, I am a fan of Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast. She was a teapot. Anyways, I don’t want to devote my entire time to Angela Lansbury.

Point taken. So, you live in Doughty? That is seriously the margins of campus. How’s that working for you?

Co-op living is fun, but it can be difficult. I have in fact turned into a sort of local “Kitchen Czar.”

Yeah, I heard that people were eating other people’s peanut butter and drinking their orange juice. It was anarchy.

Well, that is why I have to monitor the whole situation downstairs.

How do you approach this?

Well, public embarrassment is definitely one way. For the people who don’t clean up after themselves we make big signs that say “CLEAN ME” and name names.

So punishment over prevention defines the role of a “Kitchen Czar?”

I actually wanted to say “Kitchen Nazi,” but I felt that was inappropriate.

Isn’t the custodial staff supposed to clean up after you in co-ops? Isn’t that the beauty of the co-op system?

I think they may have mopped the kitchen floor once. . . So how was your night last night?

Fine I suppose. As the interviewer I feel like I should be asking you such questions. . .

My night was great. We tend to wind up at Perry after all the parties die down.

So that’s about 10:30? What do you do at this makeshift Perry Late Night?

We listen to cheesy ’80s music and Euro-pop and dance the night away. There was a game of Twister at some point.

Who is your favorite ’80s artist?

Oooooh, I don’t know. There are just so many.

So many one-hit wonders.

Ah yes, the ’80s: age of the synthesizer and the one-hit wonders. We will have to come back to this all-important question.

So what are your plans for today?

I am going to take my mom out for her birthday, which I can in fact do spontaneously since I am from North Adams, a fact I have long been trying to deny to avoid the label of “Townie.” We might go to the Berkshire Mall, which will take up a solid ten minutes of my time. Then tonight we are having a little something here called “Good Guys, Good Beer.” It’s only guys, and it’s only beer. And that’s about it.

What about the female residents of Doughty?

Well, we aren’t going to throw them out of the house, but subtly hint. I have a question for you: what do you think of Joey Potter’s deciding not to come to Williams?

Dawson’s Creek? I suppose it’s a travesty.

Instead she goes to “Worthington,” the generic no-name school. What is that?

You’re excited for the new season of Dawson’s?

No, right now I am very into reality TV. I refuse to watch Survivor because it is old and predictable. But I like this new show, The Amazing Race, in which people race around the world for a million dollars, which is the basic premise of all these shows.

I heard you are also a fan of Trading Spaces.

Right, well that’s a reality interior decorating show on the Learning Channel. It’s two couples and they each get an interior decorator and redo a room in the house of the other couple. It’s an American adaptation of a British show. The difference is that on the American version it’s like an absolutist regime.

You are very into making despotic analogies.

The interior designer gives the couple no say!

What’s the point of even getting the couple involved?

Maybe the illusion of democracy, maybe to perform the manual labor. . . I also like Big Brother III. I personally think we should have Big Brother: Doughty House. I, of course, would be the first one evicted.

Why, because people resent your Czar-like tendencies in the kitchen?

I think there is going to be an insurrection down there before the year is over. We all get along pretty well here in Doughty, but that kitchen is just a hotbed of tension. It’s a tender spot, especially since every night everyone decides they are going to make dinner at the same exact time.

We need to end soon, so let’s get back to that question, who’s your favorite artist from the ’80s?

When I was younger my first cassette – oh, and we had cassettes back then, since I feel like some of the students here were born into the CD age. . .

You realize that even the freshmen are only three years younger than you, I hope.

My first cassette ever was Michael Jackson. I was a huge Michael Jackson fan throughout the ’80s. But I still think there was so much good ’80s music. Such as Kylie Minogue’s “Locomotion.” That was good to roller-skate to. There used to be a roller rink in Williamstown, but now it’s the Brooks Pharmacy.

That’s truly unfortunate.

It would have been a good social space for the student body. People used to throw roller-skating birthday parties all the time, and I was a good roller skater. I took lessons. I could skate backwards and forwards.

You took lessons to show off at birthday parties?

No, I took lessons because I was a shy little boy and my mother felt I needed to extend myself socially. . .I feel like once you turned that tape recorder on, I just turned off.

Okay, we’re done then. I will turn it off so you can say amazingly witty things.