Hidden motivations for bandwith change

Recently there has been a lot of trouble with the Williams network. It has been running slower than the line for Grab ’n Go. To help the situation, the Office of Information technology (OIT) has put in a bandwidth shaper, which limits entertainment file sharing.

Mark Berman has said there has been an increase in the number of MPEGs (movie files) being downloaded. There have been e-mails and articles in the Record explaining the problem, but they all explain it without really saying what the real problem is. So here it is: the reason why the network is so slow is because everyone is downloading porn.

The bandwidth shaper was put into to stop the influx of porn. The people at OIT should just come out and say this and stop being politically correct. Porn is being downloaded and it is slowing down the network. Is it any coincidence that they slow down downloading and have the chastity talk the same week? I think not.

The bandwidth shaper has not stopped there: it has also deleted all the listservers that begin with a, b or c. Among the list servers it deleted (all real) were clarinet, bridge and compost. I heard the compost list server was just trash anyway, so it was good that it got deleted. But when the bridge listserver collapsed it caused a lot of traffic on the tunnel listserver.

This bandwidth shaper or porn-slower-downer, as I like to call it, must be stopped. After a lot of thinking, I came to the conclusion that we should do time sharing of the network. Perhaps during the hours of 2a.m. – 8a.m. we let downloading reach its full capability and allow for the Internet to slow down, considering that most of campus is asleep during these hours. However, if that does not work, let’s just add an adult section to the video library in Sawyer.

Before I conclude, I would like to apologize to everyone who believed downloading music and “real” movies was causing the network slowdown. I know I let the cat of the bag, but it needed to be said. There is a lot of pornography being downloaded on this campus. However, it is not necessarily a bad thing; with all this pornography, who needs a facebook!