The Loving Spoonful once asked, “Do you believe in magic?” I hope you don’t, because on Saturday the mythical WRFC White Dawgs clawed their way through the leafy woodlands of Fairfield, Conn. to happen upon a faerie gathering and prove once and for all that might rules over magic.
Unfortunately for the Dawgs, the Connecticut forest, like their match secretary Ari Kessler ’04, is very dense: The team caravan was lost and arrived only minutes before kick-off.
Slightly dazed from the three-hour journey and the faerie dust, the Dawgs let in an embarrassing first try by the prancing Faeries. After a rousing speech and counter-spell by WRFC Head Coach, Bruce Stephenson, the Dawgs were ready to go.
Five minutes later, the thick-skulled Kessler redeemed himself by charging headlong into and then through the minuscule Faerie scrum and slamming down the ball with such tremendous force that the earth tremored, scaring both the Faeries and their single fan.
Zak Haviland ’04 gathered all the available earth mana and completed a seemingly impossible two point conversion.
An epic battle, the Faeries fought hard for the next 30 minutes keeping the powerful Dawgs pinned in their own red-zone. With six minutes left in the half, the line initiated their power-play: the “in-side out.”
After a few fakes, jukes, etc. the ball was flung into the hands of White Dawg winger Akil Pascal ’04 who received it with a full head of steam, trucking through the diminutive Faerie line.
He made it almost 50 meters before a Faerie tackler, equipped with the “butter” spell, caused the ball to slip from Diesel’s hands.
Luckily, inside center Tom Cubeta ’03 was in support and after a series of rucks, prop Justin Reliford ’03 picked the ball out of the ruck and decided to take matters into his own hands.
Working off some advice that his buddy Gabe Anello ’03 had given him earlier, Reliford tucked the ball under his arms and tore through the flailing faeries like a gardener ripping up weeds.
The faeries managed to score a meager three more points before half-time.
By the second half, the faeries’ bag of tricks had been emptied and they resigned themselves to the dominating White Dawgs. With the Faeries weakened physically and mentally, the Williams backs found themselves blowing through more lines than an 80’s junk bond trader.
With trys by prop Tom Kramer ’03, second row Mike Ebell ’03 and winger Adam Jacobson ’03, it was obvious that the White Dawgs had won the day.
With just a minute left in the game, losing 31 to 13, the Fairfield team began some sort of pagan ritual involving heavy bickering, frowny faces and staring at the dirt. The White Dawgs let up their guard, not realizing that this was a front, the Faeries were conjuring up their “make it not look like a blow-out” spell and miraculously scored seven more points seconds before the final whistle.
When pulled aside after the game and asked about his performance, the flaxen-haired Jake gazed into a mirror and in a far off voice wondered, “Have you ever wondered if there is more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good at rugby?” It was clear none of the WRFC ever has.
When the Faerie B-side, affectionately known in Fairfield as the Pixies, came trooping onto the pitch from their hidden nooks within Fairfield forest, the Killer Bs swarmed and attacked.
Despite their wily elfish looks and mirthful grins, the pixies were no match for the well-oiled machinery that is the Williams B-side. Essentially scoring at will, the Killer Bs trounced the Pixies, 26-7. Aided and abetted by future ex-con Alex Smith ’06, the curly-tailed terror, who managed to funnel 16 points into his season count. The practiced screams of Jed Doench ’04 are only bettered by his skilled running, which led to his try in the second half. In his debut B-side appearance, Ben Fleming ’04, found his way into the try zone and had to be persuaded into touching down the ball instead of kicking it into the soccer goal sitting along side the field. Fortunately, mediation works and the Killer Bs won the game.
All in all it was a good day for the Dawgs. They amassed 37 hit points, 15 experience points and spent only 24 gold. They look forward to seeing the support of the whole Williams community on Saturday Sept. 28 at 1 p.m. when they run over the University of Vermont at Cole Field.