Saturday was a beautiful day in the Purple Valley, clouded only by the ugly girls in black jerseys from “amHerst” who descended upon Cole Field. The Williams Womens Rugby-Football Club (WWRFC) came out prepared to slaughter.
Though at the end of A-side, the score was not a favorable one, it was a hard-fought battle, and the B-side more than showed amHerst’s sorry excuses for “rugby players” who the better team was.
From the beginning of the first game, the WWRFC played hard, spurred by the overwhelming presence of dedicated Used Bagges, decked out in fine black jerseys, on the sideline.
Annie “Skipper” Snodgrass ’05 and Adrienne “Hooker” Peters ’03 both soon made the first of many sick tackles, and Izzi “Jennifer” Stone ’05 conveniently managed to add a new cleat-induced scar to the face of the notoriously hideous Barbie.
Susie “Who needs a knee brace?” Eklund ’04 kicked amazingly, frequently pushing amHerst deep into their own territory. Clare “Tuesday, 11 a.m.” Newman ’02 made an amazing run, bursting through numerous defenders and setting up a diving try by Dee “Tyler 304” Brown ’04.
Despite the ref’s inability to see well enough to make the correct calls, he did manage to note that Jen “Your shin tape says what?” Foss-Feig’s ’04 sock had fallen down, prompting him to comment, “Who do you hate? I don’t even want to *know* what the other side says. . ..”
Unfortunately, though, this was his only observant call, and the WWRFC was unable to convert on the intimidating penalty plays of Liz “Moira, Jr.” Sterling ’02 or the accurate line-out throws from Sara “Whitey” Hausner-Levine ’02 to Antoinette “I miss Gina already” Wilson ’04. In the B-side game, many of the A-side linies were back at it and showing amazing toughness. Tamika “Bird legs” Murray ’03 was finally able to run on the outside, which enabled her to score two breakaway tries. Murray’s scoring opportunities would not have been possible without the strong drives in rucks and mauls led by Caitlin “Bureaucratic bull. . .” Bowler ’02, Denise “Absolut gyno” Nunes ’05, Maryl “head-butted” Gensheimer ’05 and Raquel “R& B” Brown ’05.
Scrum half Evelyn “Dances in the weight room” Mahony ’03 did an excellent job of getting the ball out to the line, and Kristen “Krisabeth” Lacey ’04 broke through many tackles before feeding the ball out to wings Murray and Melissa “Track star” Daly ’03, who sped past many a defender herself.
Virginia “Green pen” Despard ’02 reminded everyone why she is such an awesome rugger when she dodged fat amHerst girls for her own scrummie try. In the second half, Nigina “Thin Mint” Turnbull ’04 made some strong plays, probably inspired by a pre-game Snickers bar.
Nicole “Shakira” Perkins ’05 used all of her 85 lb. frame to tackle a huge amHerst player. A few plays later, Carrie “No ref” Jones ’02 scored, later remarking that even though other teams tend to “shoot the boot” when players score their virgin try, she “was not worried since her cleat [made mostly of tape] would leak everything out before she even started.”
The WWRFC finished off a strong spring season by tearing eight black jerseys off the backs of the amHerst team. Outgoing seniors Bowler, Despard, Hausner-Levine, Jones, Newman, Sterling and Caroline Messmer ’02 will be missed as the fall season commences a few short months from now.
In the altered but nonetheless immortal words of Enrique Iglesias: “We will miss you so much next year; it won’t ever be the same. To the coolest seniors ever, we just wish that you would stay!”