WWRFC shuts out WCSU 29-0

With fresh legs and faded bruises made possible only by two weeks without a game, the Williams Women’s Rugby Football Club (WWRFC) took to the pitch Saturday morning prepared to slaughter the Western Connecticut team as a prelude to next week’s match vs. Amherst.

After a week of cold weather, the Rugby Goddess shone down upon the Ephwomen thanks to the sacrifices made throughout the week, highlighted by the donning of a mumu by line captain Clare “anyone interested in a little rugby?” Newman ’02 and a polar bear sleep-sack by the team’s scrum captain, Virginia Despard ’02, as well as the viewing of the classic film “Sugar and Spice.”

After winning the keychain toss, Williams got off to a fast start as fullback Susie “Stiff arm Coleman” Eklund ’04 returned a pathetic attempt at a punt by WCSU almost to the try-line.

Soon after, Newman took off her gray hoodie long enough to intercept an errant pass, use her textbook JV basketball moves to blow by the stunned WCSU backs and score the first of five tries for the day.

Fortunately, for the most part, the ref, who Liz “I’m Certain’ly Dry” Sterling ’02 wittily described as a “bizarro Andre Agassi with an impotent whistle,” did not succumb to the moronic rantings spouted incessantly by the opposing coach.

In contrast, Gina “43 mph” Coleman coolly stalked the Williams sideline, impressed by the quick runs of Evelyn “Deep V-neck” Mahony ’03 and Melissa “Horse story” Daly ’03 and the controlled rucking of scrummies Caitlin “Pin shorts” Bowler ’02 and Cam “Quickly” Peters ’03.

With her trademark volleyball spike, Antoinette “Tyler 303” Wilson ’04 stole yet another line out, eventually leading Annie “Rookie, what?” Snodgrass ’05 to score the first of her three tries after the frosh dodged one defender and sprinted past many others. Down 10-0 at the start of the second half, WCSU knew that their rugby skill would not help them, and thus chose to concentrate on their growling.

Unphased by the rumbling across the scrum, Joey “I’m a beast” Lloyd ’05, Jen “Prosthetic leg” Foss-Feig ’04, and Denver “Oops there go my shorts, oh my” Brown ’04 growled back as they scrummed down. Angelica “China with a Y” Rodriguez ’05, back from a brief hiatus, could not hold back her laughter, remarking that they sounded “like a pack of wild dogs.”

After a brief stint on the line, Izzi “Thank God I’m a scrummie” Stone ’05, could no longer resist the urge to get back to her animal roots and returned to the second row to aid Foss-Feig in her growling and hard hits.

Though West Conn. eventually had to resort to high tackles, hair pulling and vulgar language, nothing could stop prop Denise “Purple spandex” Nunes ’05 from making a brilliant run and pass, assisting Snodgrass on her second try of the half.

Moments later, Carrie “I hate everyone” Jones ’02 passed the ball out to Kristen “I love everyone” Lacey ’04, who got the ball to a looping Newman for her second try. By the end, the game had become so vicious that a spectator was overheard on his cell phone saying “yeah, I’m watching girl’s rugby. Yeah, it’s like a catfight. Giddy-up!” However, the WWRFC was undaunted and the game ended in a 29-0 victory, setting the stage for Saturday’s spanking of Amherst.

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