The great winter carnival extravaganza

Winter Carnival, Williams College’s answer to the Winter Olympics, was in full force this weekend. The festivities started on Thursday, Valentine’s Day, or as I have come to call it, the most depressing day of the year, with the exception of Arbor Day. Damn trees! You know your Valentine’s Day sucks when you do not even get the card you sent yourself! Not the best way to kick off Winter Carnival, for me at least. However, starting on Friday morning, the activities began. Now, I would love to go into detail about all the events that took place on the slopes, but I did not go to any of them. But, I heard the skiing was exciting and people went up and down the mountains and stuff.

Meanwhile, on campus, we were experiencing beautiful spring weather, which was perfect for the snow sculpture contest and snow volleyball and football on Baxter lawn. I actually got kicked out of the sculpture contest – apparently statues of female body parts were inappropriate. The football and volleyball games were both exhilarating and in both games the spread was covered. To warm up from the 45-degree day I went into to Baxter to get free hot cocoa. While in Baxter I passed by the Nintendo 64 tournament. Nothing quite promotes outdoor activity like video games.

Back to the carnival: after I left Baxter, I passed Chapin steps, and, surprisingly no shuttle was leaving from them. Actually Double Dare was taking place. Considering the small number of people there, maybe the hosts should have dared someone to play the game?

The weekend really got started on Friday at Goodrich with the opening ceremonies. I heard there was going to be a torch lighting ceremony, but we did not want to set off the fire alarm. So we lit a sparkler, but then we had to put that out because a spark got in someone’s eye. Just as they had an Olympic celebrity light the torch in Utah, we had a celebrity of our own. We could not get the 1980 United States men’s hockey team, but we were able to get someone who was at the game to light the sparkler.

The opening ceremonies were very similar to the opening ceremonies in Utah. Of course we did not have the Dixie Chicks,but then again, that was probably a good thing. A few other similarities between the Winter Carnival and winter Olympics: the Carnival had a lot of the same events and festivities minus Bob Costas and six-hour tape delays. We could have really adopted some Utah traditions in Williamstown, such as the whole polygamy thing. If a feminist just read that last line please disregard and do not send hate mail.

Friday night also saw the reopening of the Log. The Log was back from exile to show the Olympics on the big screen for the whole day. I heard that Dining Services had to beef up security when the curling came on the TV, because people got out of hand and would not wait in line to get in. However, I am told no security guard was run over. And as long as I am on the topic of the Log let me just say that the wet t-shirt contest a few weeks ago was completely inappropriate and they should have done my idea: a dry t-shirt contest in the rain. Once again, feminists please disregard.

There were plenty of other festivities aside from the Log, including fireworks, a jazz concert at Chapin and plenty of parties to choose from. The gold medal for a party’s name goes to Garfield house, which had the “High School Dance.” I was hoping we would actually bus kids in from the local high schools. Kind of makes me wish the Olsen twins lived in North Adams. The name of the party sounded sketchy, but when I went there it was not that bad, and I was actually the sketchiest person there.

However, I would be remiss if I did not mention the wonderful fireworks show at Weston Field. At first, two small fireworks went off and it seemed the show would not live up to its billing. However, the show continued and became more and more spectacular; too bad all those forest fires started because of the fireworks. Feminists and Smokey the Bear please disregard that previous statement. I know feminists were not insulted by that last comment, but I figured I owed them at least another apology. I would go into detail about my Saturday night, but I have already talked enough about fireworks.