What is your favorite movie?
Dead Poets Society.
A little Robin Williams action is always good. What is the Matrix?
Actually, I don’t know, ’cause I haven’t seen the movie.
Oh. Well that kind of puts a dent in my question, but that’s ok.
But everyone’s telling me to watch it, so I’m going to watch it. And then I’ll be able to answer that.
What is my real name?
No. My name is Neo.
What? Dude, this is so random.
I know. I’m sorry. Who’s your favorite professor at Williams?
Favorite…do I really have to answer that?
No, I guess not. Well then, who is your favorite South Park character?
I don’t watch South Park. The only exposure I had to South Park was in my freshman entry, when the guys would watch it, all the time. And I just remember it being really…obnoxious. Or they would be obnoxious after watching it.
So I take it you didn’t see the movie this summer?
No. Oh, actually I have seen one episode – it’s, like, the Christmas episode.
With the Christmas poo, Mr. Hankey?
Yes. Oh, ok! I would have to say my favorite character is…I think his name is Kenny, and he always dies. But he’s my favorite because he’s the only person I remember.
He’s my favorite too. Have you seen the new James Bond movie?
Is the world enough?
No, I don’t think so either. Who needs the world?
Are you doing anything special for Thanksgiving?
Um, yeah, I’m actually going home, and it’s the first time since being at college that I get to go home for Thanksgiving. But it’s because my parents are moving to Los Angeles, so I have to go home and pack up my house. So that’s why I’m going home.
Why are they moving to Los Angeles?
I think it’s because they have an empty nest now, and they can just do what they want.
My mom threw a party. What is your idea of a dream date?
Are you sure?
And would you rather go on a date with Snoop Dogg or Dr. Dre?
I don’t think these questions are relevant to me at all. Justin, these questions are so random!
Sorry, that’s the way it works!
[Defensively]: And Thanksgiving wasn’t random.
Ok, yeah. Ok.
So, Snoop Dogg?
I have successfully manipulated you. What is your favorite thing to do with your free time?
I’m trying to remember when I had free time at college.
Um, I like to read novels that I don’t have to read for any class…that I’ll never have to analyze.
I never get to do pleasure reading. I’ve tried lately, but it just hasn’t worked out. What are your thoughts on Mahir, the new Internet craze?
I don’t have any thoughts on it.
I kiss you!
Do you think Mahir has any Marlboro Miles?
The world needs to know: Enrique Iglesias or Ricky Martin?
I would have to say Ricky Martin, because Woodbridge had a Ricky Martin theme party.
Excellent. What ever happened to Julio?
I don’t know. I have no idea.
Ok, moving on. Do you believe in love at first sight, Peggy?
It’s never happened to me, so…yeah, actually I do!
So you’ve never fallen in love at first sight?
That’s too bad. Or actually neither have I, so whatever. Do you know the muffin man?
Not personally. I can’t say that I do.
Not personally? So one of your friends knows him?
No, not even that.
That’s a shame.
Justin, [the guy at the ATM] is laughing at you!
Do you have any fetishes?
No, I don’t.
Not at all?
I don’t think I do.
I think you should get one.
Maybe you should get a Julio Iglesias fetish.
I don’t see that happening.
Ricky Martin? Mahir?
What would you never let your mother hear you say?
Uh…well, I can’t tell you because my mother is probably going to see this newspaper.
Do you have anything that you would like to add?
Um…no. You should have told me you were going to interview me earlier so I could have thought of something.
Can you think of something quick and witty to say on the spot?
That’s ok. You can still be my friend.
Oh, thank you, that’s very nice.
Thank you for letting me interview you and potentially embarrass the hell out of you.