One in 2000: Dan Elsea

Place of Origin: La Canada, CA

Current Residence: Morgan East

Five Favorite Movies:

The American President, The Last Emperor, Sabrina (the remake), Schindler’s List and The English Patient.

Was Harrison Ford sexier in Star Wars or now?

Oh, now. When he was in Star Wars he looked tacky. His hair was all poofy and 70s-ish. His clothes were bad too.

Why’d you choose to come to Williams?

I loved it and it was a community and it just seemed like the place for me. It was very pretty and. . .um. . .yeah.

What’s your best experience since coming here?

My best experience. . .The whole year has been my best experience. I loved it all.

Ok, that’s a cop-out answer. Now give me a real one.

My best experiences have been my mate parties.

What’s a mate party?

We have Argentine tea, ’cause I’m half Argentine. You put it in a squash gourd and it has a straw and you drink it with friends and you have cookies and it’s fun.

What’s so fun about it?

It’s like a bonding experience and it reminds me of Argentina and I like it and it’s cool.

Sounds illegal to me.

It’s not illegal! It’s legal and you can buy it in LA and New York.

What are you looking forward to most next year?

Choosing all my study abroad things. And getting all my major decisions done.

What’s your favorite type of primate?

Baboons.

Why?

I just think they have very funny faces.

Give me more detail.

Their faces are really funny and they smell good.

You see a lot of baboons in California?

We don’t have them in California. But from experience I know: I like baboons.

Experiences?

I’ve talked with a baboon before.

Where?

You know. . .around.

Is there anything you want me to ask you?

I just wanted you to ask me my five favorite movies.

Why was that question important to you?

I think it reflects my personality and by seeing the movies that I like you’ll see what kind of person I am. The Last Emperor, for instance.

Isn’t that starring Eddie Murphy?

It does not star Eddie Murphy! It’s about the last emperor of China!

Starring Eddie Murphy.

No! That’s like Coming to America. How can you mix up Coming to America with The Last Emperor?

No, wait. The Golden Child. That’s what I was thinking of.

The Golden. . .! You’re confusing Eddie Murphy with The Last Emperor?

Yeah.

How can you do that?

’Cause he’s Eddie Murphy.

My point exactly! How can you do that?

Isn’t Eddie Murphy one of his generation’s finest actors?

No!

Was he sexier in the ’80s or ’90s?

He never was sexy.

What are you most passionate about?

Politics and wine.

What about wine?

It tastes good and it’s good for you. It corrects heart disease.

What about politics?

Because you can get $#!& done.

What are your thoughts on the Kosovo crisis and what can Eddie Murphy do about it?

We could just drop Eddie Murphy and put a nuclear warhead on his butt and drop him. But I don’t think that would be a smart thing to do. But it would really piss them off. Really, I think we should tell them genocide is bad and don’t mess with the West.

What do you want to tell the Williams community?

Don’t be too apathetic, pay attention more to the world around you and what’s going on outside the purple bubble…and everyone should drink higher quality alcohol.