Place of Origin: Queens, New York
Residence in Williamstown: Morgan West
Five favorite movies in no particular order: The Godfather, The Big Lebowski, UHF, Sneakers, and Time Bandits.
Isn’t that about midgets who travel through time?
Do you have a thing for midgets?
Only space-time travelling midgets.
What do you think is the most serious issues affecting Williams College now?
Substance free housing.
What do you think about it?
I don’t think we should have substance free housing. The college shouldn’t sanction a certain lifestyle.
I think it would be more segregation.
So it’s not necessary?
Well, after freshman year I think people live with whom they want to live with anyway.
What do you think is the most serious issue affecting the world today?
I don’t think that guy should be allowed to perform.
Do you have any serious problems with Yanni?
Not any serious personal problems, no.
Is it his music or his hair?
I think it’s the big white suit he wears. . . It’s kind of scary.
What’s your favorite building in Williamstown?
The architecture is so overwhelming I don’t think I could choose just one. . . I think, maybe, Stetson my favorite.
What does the front of Morgan East look like?
An Absolut bottle.
Do you like yellow school buses?
I actually got run over by a school bus once.
I was one and a half and my mom was helping my brother down. She put me down too and I crawled under the bus. When I was down there my clothes must have gotten stuck or something. The bus started moving and it dragged me one city block to the “Stop” sign.
How’d they find out you were under there?
My mom was after the bus, screaming.
Do you remember anything about that?
No. Actually, I didn’t even know until three years back. They showed me some photos.
Of you being dragged?
Yeah. Action photos. Actually, they were of me in the hospital.
But at least you survived.
Yeah. But I had to wear a helmet for a few years.
I hope you’re joking.
Just wanted to make sure. . . Anything you want the Williams community to know about you?
I think being dragged by a school bus is pretty good.
So in twenty years of life that’s your best story?
What’s your most interesting story?
I’m asking the questions here.
Ask me about my entry. Or about being a JA.
I’ll decide what questions to ask. . . What’s it like being a JA?
It’s really awesome. My frosh are really cool. . . We bond.
What’s your favorite marsupial?
What’s a marsupial?
Now you’re going to make me look stupid.
That’s okay because I don’t know what a marsupial is either. . . Can happiness be bought?
What kind of happiness? Like Bill Gates happiness? Because he looks pretty fulfilled.
I wouldn’t be happy if I was Bill Gates.
No, I guess not. Happiness can’t be bought.
Is this a breakthrough for you?
Yes. All my dreams of being an I-banker down the drain.
What does an I-banker do?
Graduate from Williams.
Decide how many people to cut from small corporations. How many people to fire to make it financially sound to maintain.
So you’re the guy who lays people off?
Pretty much. . . HEY! That’s not me! I’m a sociology major. I’m going to be a camp counselor all my life.
Favorite Jack Nicholson quote?
“Where does he get those wonderful toys?”