Republicans repeating impeachment mistake

I bounced a check last week. Do you know how stupid you feel when you hear from the bank about bouncing a check? They’re calling you up and basically saying, “Hey moron. Yeah you, the one who can’t add. Do you think you can get this right next time or should we send a 6-year-old to tutor you?”

This is basically how I think the Republican Party is going to be feeling fairly soon. Here’s the way things have gone.

First, they vehemently try to impeach an unbelievably popular president, and then lose seats in a midterm election in which they should have gained about 25.

This is the aforementioned arithmetic lesson. Now what do they do? They go back and again vehemently try to impeach the unbelievably popular president. Apparently, they need another math session. If these are the elite of our society, then I’m a little worried.

The Republicans can have it one of two ways. Impeachment can either be about public opinion, in which case there is no way they should be proceeding. Or, on the other hand, impeachment can be about following the strict letter of the law, in which case the President should be suing Ken Starr for malicious prosecution. But, you see, it’s actually about neither.

Nope, you see, this isn’t really about punishing someone for having committed a crime. It is about invalidating an election. For some reason, Republicans hate Bill Clinton. I guess if you keep losing to someone, a little resentment is bound to build up. But this is ridiculous. House Republicans watched in horror as we the people elected Bill Clinton to a second term and have now decided that we were wrong. So, they’re going to do something about it, or at least try.

In the 1980s, Congressional Democrats had far more material with which to impeach Ronald Reagan, and trust me, they hated him just as much as Republicans hate Clinton. But they didn’t.

Do you know why? Well, there are a couple of reasons, but most importantly, impeachment would have a) dragged the country through a painful process which it didn’t need and b) invalidated the democratic process of electing a leader.

The Democrats respected the process by which we govern ourselves. The Republicans seem to think that the ends justify the means.

House Republicans argue that things have changed and that the president has now lied to us about sex. Well, in the ’96 campaign I think we all knew the president had lied to us about sex in the past and, you know what, we elected him anyway. So, are the Republicans now telling us that we can’t make our own decisions when we vote?

Look, I admit that I may be a bit biased on the subject, but it doesn’t hide the truth. Everything that we’ve learned about the president through investigation we already knew beforehand.

We knew he’d lied to us and we knew he liked to have sex. What has really changed? We knew all about the man and decided he was the best man for the job. Now, someone says they know what’s best for me. Well, thanks, but no thanks. I can make up my own mind.

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