One in 2000: Scott Kaplan

Residence: West College

Hometown: Brooklyn, New York

Major: Computer science

Favorite movie: L.A. story (with Steve Martin).

Favorite three albums: Paul Simon, “Graceland”; anything by Billy Joel; Herbie Hancock, “The Best of Herbie Hancock”

Favorite place on campus: The little divot of grass in front of West

Favorite dining hall: Dodd

Who on campus would you most like to be: Sarah Carr

You chose Graceland as one of your CDs, tell us what you think of the Simon and Garfunkel break up?

Well, Sarah, you know as well as I do, that Art Garfunkel was nothin’ but a free loadin, big-haired, high whiny pitched voiced, waste of humanity that was merely carried along by the melodious ways of the lovely Paul Simon.

Isn’t that a little harsh? I think he was cute.

Tough love, Sarah.

So what are your thoughts on first-year family weekend?

I think it is about a time that we have a holiday that truly celebrates the first-year family in a way that is uplifting to all. For years the first-year families have gone unnoticed. Isn’t it time they made a stand?

Now that you are a senior, do you have any regrets, anything you wished you had done in the last three years?

I always wanted to take art history, but never did. And I have never been to that Shaker village in Pittsfield either. But maybe I can still make it there. I am shooting big.

Have you visited the OCC? Or if not, do you have plans to?

No, but I hear it is nice this time of year.

So you studied at Oxford last year. How was it?

That is in England, right?

Well yes, it is.

England is nice.

So it is.

Your hair is pretty.

Thanks. Moving on, in light of the Clinton affair, what do you think of the media in general?

So all the news channels keep yappin’ about their new and improved new helicopters, which is all well and good. NBC has Chopper 4, ABC has Newscopter 7, and the local channel has this guy who kind of looks like a helicopter. I think they call him Joe. So what gets me in all this is how they go on about all the new features of these news copters. Channel 4’s new thing is ‘now with whisper quiet mode.’ As if that was ever a problem, as if I am standing on the street, talking and raising my fist into the air saying: ‘Well I guess we could have a conversation if it wasn’t for that damn Chopper 4. For God’s sake, why don’t they at least put whisper mode on that thing?’ I mean come on.

In conclusion, Scott, a philosophical question for you. If love is blind, then how do you explain love at first sight?

Well Justice is also blind, and I don’t think she ever loved anyone. Does that answer your question?

No, not really.

Well maybe it should.

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